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Tag: poetry

July 9, 2015September 9, 2015Bean

You Are Not a Picture

October 24, 2011August 13, 2015Bean

Shiver


Kathleen Wilbur. 22. Writer of words. Runner of miles. Lover of sushi.

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My first year of grad school I took 3 classes a semester, commuted 45 minutes each way, worked 40 hours a week, moved into a fixer upper (to say the least), and planned a wedding and got married. That is not me bragging but me pointing out that my self care was TERRIBLE. I put way too much on my plate, pushed myself too far, and didn't set any boundaries for my own benefit--and boy I paid the price. The depression that had been creeping in for a year or so hit me full force because of all this and by second semester I was a miserable, overtired, overworked, overeating shell of myself. Thankfully, I was already utilizing a therapist and she helped me to learn true self care, self love, and the beauty of setting boundaries. I quit my job to focus on my internship at DCF and spent my second year of grad school with considerably less on my plate--and I was happier for it! But even still, I found myself at my doctor explaining that even with therapy and less responsibilities, I still didn't feel like MYSELF: the Kath I once knew and felt happiness in being. In March of this year I decided to try antidepressants and while it wasn't a perfectly smooth transition, overall it turned out to be the best choice I could have made for myself at that time in my life. Today was my last day of summer; it is the first time since I was 14 that I haven't worked full time in the summer. I swam in the ocean, I read a lot of books, I spent so much time with my dogs and my parents, I saw my best friends from near and far, I napped! It was amazing and life giving and truly a summer I will always cherish. Tomorrow I start my third (and last!) year of grad school with my first day at my internship as an individual therapist at Stonehill College and this is all to say: Gosh, I finally feel like myself again. Like Kath. Thank you therapy and medication and the ocean and everyone I love and the universe for my many privileges and blessings. And THANK YOU to MYSELF for not being afraid to ask for help when I needed it. May we all feel deeply at home in our minds and hearts and ask for help when we need it ♥️ Cheers to another beautiful summer, the one where I found myself again ⛱️
Tongue out Thursday!
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